| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|06:27 pm] |
i miss someone very much.
you dont knw wht happen these days.
you dont knw how i felt.
the emptiness,
the forced smiles,
the loneliness,
the fears.
protect me again, warrior.
life is so messy.
make me stronger.
i dont really feel like being in love.
i dont wanna be in love.
maybe this isnt even love.
maybe i dont even knw wht's love.
maybe i lost it, the meaning of love. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2007|11:55 pm] |
she did so much,
but you felt so little.
she tried so hard,
but you dont feel the love.
how long more before i get the definition of love to you.
place these words of love into your dictionary.
Cos everyday i do something,
hoping every bit gets to your heart.
Time will show everything.
I told you my meaning.
I need your belief.
it wasnt easy, to let you love me.
maybe i wasnt good enough.
everyday i cannot wait,
for the day to come.
this is fucking depressing :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|02:49 am] |
First and foremost, the saddest soul gets the privilege tonight.
The following paragraphs is dedicated to dearest jerryl girlfriend (:
rainbow like the sun has always been there.
the sun at night went to the other side of the world.
the rainbow during rainy day cant surface cos there aint light.
every positive something is there to balance the negative thing.
only when you light your brain w positive thoughts,
you see your rainbow, any rainbow you want.
keep yourself positive,
keep adding values in your life and not let negativity gets you.
minus minus and minus only slowly kill yourself.
ive 3 words for you.
in relationship, we can only ' TAKE IT EASY '
you're taking it too hard on yourself.
you think you're contradicting yourself then qns yourself the right thing.
consider the worth of staying on to this broken piece.
how you try to hold everything on your own, it's only gonna fail.
through your past r/s i dont knw wht've you learnt.
but i hope you knew every r/s can be very sweet.
but mishandling of the breakup always turn everything rotten.
so wht she knew how you feel, things are not gonna be the same.
so wht if she's yours now, do u still want someone who turns her back on u?
dont u feel betrayed? stop getting led on by your past.
wht has blown away let it go.
if it's so painful everyday facing the trauma,
then let the pain slowly drain bit by bit.
instead of overwhelming yourself w extreme sorrow.
let yourself have something everyday to remove from your heart.
then take your time, fill in someone else better.
there's always someone else in this world tht's more worth it.
and someone who will see your actions and appreciate you more.
remember how everyone has a choice.
and wht u're doing now is not contradiction.
it's wht you chose for yourself.
you choose to trap yourself at the exact spot she left.
always convincing yourself w excuses, making yourself wait.
for someone who wont return.
i always told u, if someone loves u.
she can turn away frm u this moment, but when she realise she loves u.
she will turn and find her way back to u irregardless where and how far u went
let the one look for you instead of your endless waiting.
stop staring at the path then tell yourself she is coming back.
cos when u last saw her, she told u her reason.
she is leaving w someone.
it hurts then move on.
cos your next stop is joy if only you move yourself outta this mess.
keep walking and try to forget.
till you reach happiness again, you knw it's a brand new start.
and if ever she is back, it's then time for u to decide.
to let her know if she's in time or she's late.
we learnt our lesson frm love when they say byebye.
but each time it gets harder, painful as we go on.
but you knw and experienced, you knw this is how love works.
pick yourself up soon and smile like a rainbow.
when we cant find rainbow, make yourself the rainbow.
let you smile for the simpliest reason, your own (:
OKAY AND NOW THIS IS GOING TO TWINNIE.
TWINNIE, DEFINE YOUR KIND OF LOVE YOU WANT FROM ME.
THEN I KNW HOW TO LOVE YOU SO YOU CAN STOP COMPLAINING.
ITS NOT THT I DONT LOVE YOU OKAY.
and see, everything is marked in caps.
so it showed how much importance it has in it.
Next to dearest dino,
thank you for doing whatever you can for the dnd counter.
thus lessening my load tonight, have a goodnight rest.
LASTLY someone i cannot forget to mention.
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
Remember v for love,
Going out to that silly vikki,
i like seeing your smiles.
and i cannot take my eyes off you.
i hope one day i can do everything to make you mine.
and i swear i wont let us be another mistake of yours.
and i want to make you happy like you deserve it.
LOVE LOVE (:
just the thought of you pretty, it brings me smiles.
:DD |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|01:43 am] |
i dont knw wht to blog about.
but since i manage to get online,
w the stupid comp i've.
it's sucha lucky day.
im so happy.
cos she makes me happy.
i came online to talk to her.
i think she went to sleep alr.
im so glad i like her.
v is for love.
im mcbaby lovin`.
vikki T ((:
goodnight world.
*i tell u i cant take my eyes off her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2007|03:27 am] |
my heart is injured.
cos it cant stop thinking of someone.
and the more i think,
the more im killing myself.
but i've learnt the way to manage this emotion.
but it dont mean im letting go of it.
i miss jojo.
:(
i dont knw wht to blog abt.
cos i knw if i go on and on,
it's still gonna be her. |
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| just the random thoughts & babblings. |
[Jun. 29th, 2007|02:29 am] |
it wasnt suppose to be like this.
it wasnt suppose to start.
it wasnt suppose to get this far and deep.
i kind of pity myself.
i cant even complete a simple thing like this.
i cant make decision for myself.
im not gonna care if saying this kills all my likely targets.
i just wanna speak my mind.
i knw if something goes wrong here,
im coming to a block, and it's the end for me.
so tell me when did i became so confused.
i dont knw wht i want. i bet i was scared of the future.
i tried to consider girls whom i thought cld be my gf.
but slowly give them up when they dropped me signs of no-no.
things like 'we cant work out, you dont attract me blah blah blah'
but look what happened at the end.
i nvr expect this day to come to actually feel something for someone.
they ask me who is it, i nvr ever admit.
twin said: 'wht's there to hide when you alr knew wht you want.'
and yes i found wht i want,
something tht i shldnt want cos it's gonna get tough.
prolly everyone shld knw this open fact.
i want jojo and i wasnt kidding in my previous entries.
she really made my smiles and she's really the one.
i had to admit when she was back in my life.
i nvr thought she cld bring back the spark just being herself.
i dont knw how did it happen but i did ponder over it.
i guess she dont knw but she's the first i love,
ever since i wanted to settle down.
(and this excludes peishan cos for her i cant escape her threats)
she was the first i really love and the first i totally let go to be happy.
though i had always been unhappy aft she dumped me cos
she used her feifei against me and made me feel my love is nothing.
even aft the brk-up, i've loved her and i knew there're ppl who knw.
even when grandma passed away and she's working @ esplanade,
i still loved her.
i always looked at how happy her profile seems to be with feifei.
i always spot her among the crowd in sch then turn away.
(cos her feifei is always next to her,most of the time)
i used to grumble so much cos im quite unhappy with the way i lost her.
call me a loser yeah.
i dare not tell ppl she's my ex cos im scare she denies it.
cos the way she put an end to everything is bad.
i was sad cos she makes it seems like everything was forced.
and i wonder how did i get so happy but not her.
but i was so proud of myself tht i actually let her go for her happiness.
and i did saw her happiness.
in fact i stalked her till she dated julianne.
till she broke up with feifei and all.
i tried finding out everything i cld.
i was so glad when we first started talking.
when she no longer exchanges stares with me in sch.
and i saw her smile aft so long.
i dont knw wht's special abt you.
but maybe the diff way how you came back into my life.
i recalled how we added each other back on friendster.
then chatted on msn till early morning like it's not tiring for you.
how i dont knw when i call/text you and tell you stories of my crazy life.
how you pop out at the cafe one day to drop by,
(the free scoop of raspberry ripple ice-cream).
how you promise to acc me at work but didnt
and came only the day after and fulfilled your words.
you waited till the sun comes up.
and this is the first time ever a girl done this for me.
how did i not resist you and allow me to get involved with you.
the rubber band tht u gave to me to tie my spoilt watch band.
the pen tht u gave to me so i cld write my orders with it.
the very kuku looking tissue packs i still have with me when i met u first at kemb stn.
the bumble bee cookie lolly i got for you which in turn appear in my friendster comment.
it was nothing but the every little things we do tht slowly got me caught on you.
i like hearing your smiles and laughters, it's so real coming frm your heart.
it influences me and the ppl around tht makes us happy.
it's the frankness u had tht i like, speaking your mind and demanding wht u want.
esp for the things you dont liked/hated.
it's cool to me i felt kinda protected with you ard.
like how you knew i hated someone and u wanted to go up to her and tell her stop staring.
you're like mafia but i like you the way you're.
you're loud and noisy, you laugh the diff way frm ppl.
but i think you're so true.
each time i see you, i felt the comfort and caught the joy you gave to me.
you nvr knew how wonderful you were.
but it's amazing how you made me fall for you.
im not asking much and i cant ask for much.
cos right now, i knw u want nothing.
but it's okay.
cos you're the second aft renee,
i learnt how to be noble, and watch the one i love gets wht she wants,
to be happy. i dont knw how did i ever want to commit for you.
but i tried and feel the worth of trying.
how im feeling towards you i dont knw.
i think i like you.
i think it's getting more and alot.
and it's overwhelming.
i think it is love.
i think i just want to see u happy and hear your joy.
each time i anger you or irritate you,
i get angry with myself, i feel like killing myself.
i cant nvr find a reason to be mad at you.
i fly each time you call/text me.
it wld be better if i see u before me.
i cant stop smiling when i see u and esp when u're happy.
i get inferior when i think im lousy
when i think u deserve better.
i want to back out i want to disappear.
i want to walk away and pull out from everything.
i cant and i just do everything in secret.
each time i miss you, i stare at your beautiful face in my phone.
each time i wanna call you, im afraid, i just tell myself you're busy.
and everytime i sit alone and wait for you to make my smile.
it's not abt ego when i said i wanna prove to you it's you.
im not a toy and stop asking me to go away.
the rest dont matter and only you affects me.
it's not abt accepting a challenge and i cld be impatient.
but im still there.
23/24 may, that's when you stepped back into life.
if i were to say praise of you, the list goes on.
but it's pointless cos my heart alr knew it's just you.
it feels safe whenever i see you.
so whenever i knock off im off to see you.
it feels happy when u smiled when i talked to you.
i wanna be your happy pill.
im so scared one day i lose you.
and no you're far more special than a friend.
and whether or not, i've you im gonna stay on for you.
feifei trade 8mths of dating to be with you for so long.
she got your heart and true love,
if i have to invest more, im willng to.
i'll stake my everything for you.
jojo labbit, you're hamsterbear's love.
yes im jealous of the ppl ard you tht wants you like i do.
sometimes when i nvr even withdraw my love,
you dont even knw, cos it's in secret.
im sorry im pushing you further.
im sorry i always anger and irritate you.
im trying to be a better man and i hope i can.
((:
i got to say this folks cos these days im suffering w/o her.
goodnight. |
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| a sad discovery. |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|04:36 pm] |
and i found the difference of me.
i saw wht they possess and not for me.
they were all frm _ _ _
IM NOT, and maybe i shld stay away frm the clan.
i dont have a skin thick enough,
for this challenge.
come on, inferiority is attacking me |
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| something new! (: |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|04:42 am] |
HAHAHAHAHA.
today i got happy cells in me.
it's not anyone tht brought me the happiness.
BUT IT'S SOMETHING ((:
and it's so addictive.
im so addicted to tht something!
but first of all, i need more money.
i was browsing my photos, i think im getting fatter!
OMFG! dearest friends stop buying me meals.
IM ON STRICT FASTING.
i need galloons of water to flush out all my toxins and fats.
im so fat, oh my, and im so fair.
i need to do something fast.
let me do some magic but give me some time.
maybe in a month time,
see me again end of july, i hope by then im charming.
HAHAHAHHAA
now i shall be the ugly frog.
then i shall also hope within this one mth,
there'll be this beautiful princess to come kiss me.
so i'll really turn into a charming prince aft one mth.
O YAYYYY! thinking abt it just makes me so happy.
anyway i need to talk about my farm clique.
it started off with the two very alike looking creatures.
it's creatures but not animals cos im hamsterbear.
hahaha
and obviously the twin is porkie pig.
then we got the two lovely rabbits.
porkie pig, bunnie, hamsterbear, labbit (:
aww, then the list contd and last we have dino and monkee added in the inventory.
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
on a lighter note, im so sorry to be the irritant.
i'll try not to suffocate so much annoying the shit outta you.
goodnight lovelies (:
tonight is not so bad, cos of something new (((((:
for the humans, they're still so stagnant.
nothing much yet to rejoice for.
thou im looking forward.
PAPER BUNNY - HIDDEN SECRET.
cant wait, i miss ((: |
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| tears falling like cabbages tonight. |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|03:24 am] |
i feel so stress lately i dont knw why.
it's so bad till im having chest pains.
i just talked to this someone.
it's been ages since we last talked.
and she told me she's gonna go off this coming aug.
and i cant explain why tears just came down.
it's like yesterday when we discussed abt your coming departure.
it's like for me you're gonna stay, but no.
the day has come and is approaching.
you got to go soon leaving this place of memories.
you got to take care over there, have fun still.
behind your cheerful smiles, there's always a spot you hid your sadness.
behind your strong front, you're crying for your problems.
it's just you, tht little imp.
and dont doubt those tht i've said to you.
cos it spoke the truth.
im proud of myself,
to be able to keep everything aside and still encourage you.
stay if you can, for him.
he's your love.
goodnight everyone.
im a worrywart.
and she got her man.
i worry for the one i like.
cos she's beautiful and she deserve more.
and she is so hard to get and it's driving me crazy.
JYMK. |
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| RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PUIIIII !!!! |
[Jun. 24th, 2007|03:19 am] |
why is it the happy times dont last.
and tht you open the door for me,
yet you're asking me to leave.
im not home once again.
im at dee's place w twin.
initially i wanted to walk home frm town.
cos for some reason, i dont feel like returning home.
i thought of blasting music, slowly drag myself home.
but twin suggested to bring me home to dee's place.
it's a killer when my hp dont sing for you, anymore.
who's better for you and the one you want.
i'll work it out the way you want it to be.
whether or not, at the end you're mine or no.
simplicity is a beauty.
and the credit comes from you.
you're the beauty tht construct my smiles.
but i knw im just irritating.
it's depressing to knw i irritate you more.
and tht im not making you smile as much as before.
things are changing
thank you for the times tgt.
and it was great memories.
and when you leave or it's time for me to pack my stuffs.
when im on the go,
i'll let this pics of love turn back to empty negative.
the tears were for you.
& you knew how you made me smile, and frown.
and when you kiss, you took a part from me.
and when you leave, you destroy a part of me.
it's not easy being the forever attraction.
it's only temporary im your comfort,
your reason to smile,
the one in your eyes.
cos when you turn around, im gone and so are you.
you hop back to us,
you left, hunted by someone.
i knw im not good enough.
everyone thinks i've a girl.
everyone is assuming.
i wish i had a girl.
i need my shelter.
thank you very much,
im so messed up.
goodnight cheebyes.
you ought to knw this feeling sucks.
im an exclusive playdoll.
im now the hanging puppet.
everything everything is tumbling down, JENGA! |
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| drifting paper boat. |
[Jun. 21st, 2007|05:11 pm] |
out of a sudden,
i dont knw wht i want.
im sick of everything.
someone be kind, kill me pls.
IM NOT HAPPY,
SO WHO GONNA PLEASE ME?
CBCBCBCBCBCBCCBCBBCBC |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2007|05:04 pm] |
thank you very much.
my hands are so dry aft the washing last night.
till it's gonna crack more if i stretch further.
oh and i dont knw wht happen.
my head started bleeding.
and it freaks jojo out.
she's like so disgusted by it.
she's so kind right!
and she's so gonna die later.
esp aft seeing the things.
im so broke so broke.
aft tml, im bankrupt.
next month pay hurry come.
i need money to do so many things.
thank you for your attention,
it isnt something everyone can do, for me |
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| talking about loveee <3 |
[Jun. 20th, 2007|07:13 am] |
suddenly it's like a remote found in life.
it was fast forwarding till i kinda find an ans.
and i saw her emerging frm the rest.
and she's so beautiful.
everything abt you is impt.
i wanna cast away your frowns & make your smiles.
hearing u weep so painfully, it cuts my heart.
i wish i knew how to prove it to you.
but i'll b just natural.
everytime i see you, i smile so uncontrollably.
everytime i look a sec longer, i wish i had you.
whatever it is, i just want you happy.
to a certain extend,
i read your sms, i wanted to just watch over you.
but love is selfish, i cant just do nothing.
sit and watch you walk away, get robbed away.
but wht you said to me,
it's like a phrase so touching, it melted my heart.
i've longed to feel wanted.
and you made it seems so.
i swear i love you baby.
i knew im loving jojo.
and i wanna have a home with my labbit,
have little junior hamsterbear babies.
(: i knw you're a romantic and sweet gf.
thou u're loud and noisy.
it can be annoying but i so so love you.
im so glad i'll see you soon.
go home now, bath, wake you up.
see you before my sleepy eyes ((:
it's all worthwhile.
i wish i had you everywhere i go,
right before my eyes.
jojo, you're my growing addiction.
you seriously charged me like some bunny battery.
HOW CUTE! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|02:31 pm] |
i felt my worth from all of you.
my comfort come and go.
my attraction is temporary.
im almost killing myself.
im your hanging puppet now.
RAHRAHRAH.
FUCK IT.
go awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! |
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